Dear Sister,
My feet tapping on the pavement in their natural rhythmicity, my side bag tapping gently against my side, I was glad to be freely strolling in this beautiful city – an activity that is now difficult for me to take for granted like most people seem to, like I once used to. Naturally, this became an opportunity for some soul searching. I thought, I felt, and I found.
I did not like what I found.
Whenever we don’t like what we find, we have this tendency to deny it. Whenever we can’t deny something any longer, we have this tendency to justify it. And whenever that too loses its appeal, then how do we reconcile ourselves with the reality?
What I want to do is lament over the lost me, somehow save her from the flames. The past has consumed her though, and the only one left to save is the current me: the me in whose soul I have found bitterness. This is not to diminish the value of sweet moments of pure joy that I have lately experienced, but once the awareness of bitterness seizes you, it cannot be forgotten and dismissed. (Trust me, I have tried.) Indeed, it seems it’s time for reconciliation….
Love,
The Resilient Virus.
PS: We should really think about making that blog announcement next week!